My wife and I have a very curious and energetic Weimaraner (and yes, I know that writing energetic Weimaraner is redundant) dog named Parker that loves to get into things. If you come home with a bag, purse, suitcase, or basically anything that she can stick her nose in, she will do it. Generally she is looking for food but occasionally she’ll pull out something that she finds interesting, like the time I caught her chewing on a set of mini colored pencils she’d wrangled out of my wife’s purse. Seriously, nothing is safe from her. She’ll even “surf” the counters and check the pantry door to make sure that there are not any delicious items available for her consumption. And if there are, usually all we find are remnants.
So about 2 months ago we came home to find the remains of 7 boxes of soap in our bathroom. I had purchased the 8-pack of Irish Spring (or something equivalent) for like two dollars and was storing the remaining boxes under the sink as I slowly worked my way through them for the next five years. Or so I thought. Instead, we found all of the boxes opened and shredded on our floor and zero signs of the bars of soap. Needless to say we were a little concerned so we immediately checked all of the usual places that Parker tends to take her newly discovered “treasures” but could not find even a trace of anything. We began to worry a bit, thinking that eating 7 bars of soap would certainly have some sort of an adverse effect on Parker, even though she has proved over and over to have a hardy constitution. But she seemed to show no ill effects, so we took a wait and see approach.
We didn’t have to wait too long. As I sat down at my computer, I noticed that Parker was pawing at our storage shelf in the halfway, pulling down all of the towels on the bottom shelf. I went over to see what she was doing and found the first bar of soap. Not 10 minutes later my lovely wife came into the office and sat down in the chair and felt something, so she reached under the cushion and pulled out another bar. We spent the next 15 minutes look in every possible place we thought that she could have hidden her soapy treats. We found one behind a stack of T-shirts in a closet, underneath a hoodie on a couch, and, of all places, our other dog Luther’s bed. 5 down, 2 to go. We couldn’t find them, so we figured we’d just wait and see what she did with them.
As we were watching TV in our den, sure enough, we heard some scratching and when we went to investigate, there was Parker, holding her prize in her mouth. after much convincing she surrendered it, and the same scene repeated itself about 30 minutes later. All present and accounted for. And poor Parker, all that work with nothing to show for it.