It has been quite a couple of weeks here in the Fielder household. We’ve had changes in careers/work for both of us (Kristen got a new editor, I had an opportunity pulled from me), a physical injury (I took a softball in the mid-calf/shin area and can’t seem to shake the pain/swelling, and then on Friday someone hit my car while it was parked and neglected to leave a note (why would they? It’s only the RIGHT THING TO DO.) The lone bright spot in the midst of all this chaos? We got the chance to spend the weekend with my sister’s kids, watching them while their parents went to a wedding. It’s hard to wallow in self-pity when you are taking care of a 4 and 3 year-old. But then Monday came and I guess God decided that I needed a time-out of sorts. After going to work and gutting it out on a painful leg, the doctor told me that I needed to stay off of it until Saturday. No work, no nothing, just me and the dogs hanging out at the house with the remotes, some books, and the computer.
In the grand scheme of things it ended up working out ok since my car will be in the shop until next Monday and I’m not going anywhere, and there were a couple of soccer games on TV that I wanted to watch. However, I have to say that even so I’d rather be pain-free and walking. So after all that, where are we at?
Well I guess we’re in two places. Firstly I’m glad I have Kristen. I know I’m not the most accommodating patient ever, but she has been a wonderful caretaker, making sure I have everything I need and even renting me a couple of movies to watch. We’re coming up on a year of marriage soon (March 19 for those interested in sending gifts…) and it’s tough to imagine going through all of this alone. Just knowing that she is there with me is a comfort and she also helps me keep perspective and offers the occasional “I told you so…”. But I would not have it any other way. Marriage is not all roses and candy (though those things ought to figure prominently…) but it is also car wrecks and hurt legs and detours. And it is making it there together, for which I am and will be eternally grateful that I am making it there (Wherever that may be) with her.
The second place that it leaves us is similar to where the Israelites were when they were waiting on the Messiah (namely Jesus) to come and deliver them. They waited a long time and went through a lot of really terrible stuff en route, but in the end it totally paid off. Habakkuk shows us a picture of the unglamorous waiting game and the sorrows that accompany it. Chapter 3 is a plea for God to come and visit His wrath on the enemies of Israel and to bring His salvation to His people. It’s kind of a dark chapter but then you get to verse 16 where the prophet begins to change his tune a bit (italics my version…):
16 I heard and my heart pounded,
my lips quivered at the sound;
decay crept into my bones,
and my legs trembled.
Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity
to come on the nation invading us.
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines, (or though my car sits in the shop because some moron cannot use their rear-view mirror or brake pedal)
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food, (or though the directions we thought we were taking have changed and we know not the future)
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls, (or though my leg hurts and still has a gnarly knot on it and is swollen)
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, (Yes PLEASE!)
he enables me to tread on the heights.
So we wait patiently on God, praying and working as well as we can, doing everything we know but resting in the knowledge that ultimately God is in control of everything.