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Mother’s Day – The Other Side of Celebration

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I’m sure you are aware that yesterday was Mother’s Day.  And it was entirely appropriate and wonderful that an entire day was set aside to celebrate the impact and influence of mothers in our lives.  But this year, more than most, I spent a fair amount of time thinking about the other side of Mother’s Day.  I’ve been blessed to have an amazing mother who loves me and did a wonderful job in raising me (at least I think so) and has always been there for me.  And this year I was able to celebrate  my Wonderful Wife as a mother to our two boys for the first time.

But maybe it is the fact that as we were celebrating with those sweet little boys, their birth mother was having another day without them, that gave me pause.  And I started thinking about how Mother’s Day is an incredibly hard day for many people for many different reasons.  In the past year I’ve had friends that have miscarried, lost a child, lost their mother, or have gone another entire year without being able to have a child.  And it makes me sad.  For them, each social media post of faded old pictures and proclamations of greatest mother ever is a reminder of what was, what had been, or what isn’t.

I don’t know what I do about this.  I don’t know that there is anything that I can do about this, except to pray for my friends and realize that if I, in my limited view, know of this many people that are struggling on this day, that surely there are others in my life I don’t know about, and that their experiences are multiplied many times over across our world.  It’s probably weird to think about these things on a day when so many people are so happy and celebrating, but my relationship with God is such that I truly believe I am called to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep, sometimes all in the same day, maybe even in the same breath.

I don’t know what their pain feels like.  I can’t relate to their frustrations and longings in a way that carries much meaning.  But I can let them know they aren’t alone and that others know that yesterday was hard for them.  And if you’re reading this and yesterday was hard for you, I’m sorry.  I wish it wasn’t.  I wish I had better answers for you and I wish I could make all things new again.  But I can’t.  I know the one who can though, and while it doesn’t make life here any easier, please know God loves you more than you could ever even begin to imagine.  And if you aren’t in this boat, try and be sensitive to those around you that are hurting and be ever thankful for the blessings you have.

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One response »

  1. Phyllis Horde

    Sam you are such a deep and thoughtful person. You parents both did a wonderful job teaching and training you. As the mother of an adopted child I know where you are coming from. As a foster mother to 63 over a period of 12 yrs. I have seen first hand the pain of mothers who have lost their children as I have met many of them. Even moms that lose their children due to drugs of neglect mourn that loss. Thank you for thinking of them this time of year. Your boys are blessed to have you.

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